A couple of months ago I thought I'd go for a quick ride.  It was a beautiful Sunday with crystal clear blue skies and the roads were really quiet.

Headed out of town and up towards the Mendips for a bit of a blast, leaving my cares and worries behind - fantastic.

Got up on top of the Mendips heading towards Wells on a couple of really nice back roads - not speeding just ripping along apace, revelling in the ride.   Round a couple of bends, down a straight into a nice drifting right-hander, saw a Landrover ahead, checked behind, checked ahead, life saver, signal move....................

BLOODY HELL HE'S TURNING RIGHT! 

No warning, just a slight tilt to his front wheels ......Crashing down through the box, hard breaking             BANG

I wake up, everything's dark.  "What am I doing here?'  Where am I? What happened? Am I all right?"  - My vision begins to clear - I'm lying in the road - got to get up and to safety.

I stand up, I fall over, I stand up, I fall over, I drag myself across the asphalt (I haven't got a clue what's going on!!!!)  I make it to the incredibly soft and beautifully green bank and collapse. 

I look around. The road is empty apart from a Landrover coming towards me (that looks familiar) and a Peugeot.  Other than that it's just me and my mangled bike scattered across the road.

Now people are running from said vehicles towards me (I'm still horribly confused).

I spark up a fag.  "Are you all right?" yells someone at me (I think they've already asked that question).  I take a deep drag on my fag . "Yeah" I respond.

"What happened?" (bit of a stupid question that) -  Things are beginning to clear a bit. "I hit 'im" I say

There's about 3 people around me asking lots of things and I'm not really interested - what I do want is an ambulance - so I call one on my mobile.  "Yeah there's been a crash, I think I'm injured blah blah blah".   I'm not really sure where I am, so I have to ask the spectators to this theatrical episode.

Then I call my mum (well you've got to, haven't you?). "Yeah, I've crashed, I'm fine, don't worry, meet me at the RUH in about an hour."

Then the police arrive and I realise that I'm about to get shafted on this - the Landrover owner is obviously saying that it's all my fault and .................

Suddenly everything is crystal clear - right up to impact when the lights went out and I have lost about 2-4 minutes.

I explain:

"Round a couple of bends, down a straight into a nice drifting right-hander, saw a Landrover ahead, checked behind, checked ahead, life saver, signal move....................

BLOODY HELL HE'S TURNING RIGHT !

No warning, just a slight tilt to his front wheels ......Crashing down through the box, hard progressive breaking     BANG

I then find out this guy was pulling into his driveway (what bloody driveway? - we're in the middle of nowhere - oh - and he's a fireman).

He's come around the corner, taken his foot off the gas and rolled down the road to his turning, no braking, just rolling.  He's obviously done this a thousand times before and doesn't bother o brake or indicate.  The first he saw of me was when he turned, leaving me with three options:

1 - Overtake and possibly get flattened
2 - Undertake into a ditch and possibly get impaled on a fence, tree etc
3 - Hit him and possibly just get hurt

Looking back option 3 has to have been the best bet.

Anyway that was a while ago, I'm still riding and hey, shit happens, but why does it always happen to me...........................

Oh, I should tell you about the hospital and the treatment I got, but that's another story involving a 6ft -plus transvestite nurse, a communication problem (I was the only person there who spoke English) and 8 hours strapped to a backboard with no pain meds.

Ah well - Easy like Sunday morning ..........